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My trip to the Holy Land, Article 2 of 4

September 20, 2017 / By Theresa Eggleston

When I went to the Holy Land, I was expecting to have a grand spiritual experience in the Garden of Gethsemane. It is one of my favorite Bible stories; Jesus stays up all night praying that the burden before him is taken away. He pleads with his friends to stay up with him, longing for company. When I read this story, I feel closer to a human Jesus.

Naturally, I was excited to experience something special when I stepped into the Garden of Gethsemane. Although it was a beautiful place and I was happy to be there, I didn’t feel the nudge of the Spirit. Who was I to control what the Spirit had planned for me while I was in the Holy Land though?  The Spirit had very different plans for me as I found during my journey.  I was completely surprised when I found the Spirit move me on the Sea of Galilee. I was deeply moved when Mary became real in the Church of the Annunciation. I was forever changed in my heart when I felt the tangible love of the Spirit in the home of a Palestinian family. Through sharing this story this week and a couple of others in upcoming weeks, I hope to share with you the awakenings the Holy Spirit gave me in the Holy Land.

The Sea of Galilee:

We ran as quickly as we could towards the shore line. The light breeze off the Sea of Galilee cooled the sweat from our brows. Our feet clomped on the docks as we came closer to the wooden boat we would be traveling on. One by one, we hauled our tired bodies onto the boat and away we sailed.

This was the Sea of Galilee, where Jesus walked on water. This is where he called out to his disciples, and where he grabbed onto Peter and asked, “Why did you doubt?” In my head, I imagined it as a peaceful place; tranquil with silent beauty. Today it was the complete opposite. As our boat left the shore, the wind began to pick up and the waves leapt alongside the bow. Our guide raised his voice louder and louder to speak over the water that crashed against the ship.

We gathered closer together near the center of the vessel in order to hear one another better. We listened to a reading from Matthew 14:22-33. Peter cried out to Jesus and said, “Lord! Save me!” I struggled to hear over the crashing waves and howling wind. Somehow, I could almost hear Peter shout for the Lord’s help, his words becoming swallowed by blustering salt air.

After the reading, our leader, Mike Ratliff asked: “In your time of ministry, who have you cried out to saying, ‘Save Me!’ Who have been your mentors in ministry? Whether with us or passed on, I would ask that you say their names out loud here.”

A lump rose in my throat. A moment passed and then another. One group member shared a name. I swallowed back tears, my eyes burning with the effort. Another name was shared. Finally, I took a deep breath, one much like Peter must have taken before shouting to the Lord and I said…. “Kevin Dunn.”

As I said his name, it disappeared into the air with a loud gush of wind. It was as if the Spirit had snatched that name as it left my lips, as swiftly as Kevin had left us here on earth. I took another deep breath. Mike spoke again: “When someone pours into you, you in turn must pour out because it was never yours to begin with.” Mike’s words hung in the air. Selfishly I wanted to keep as much of my spiritual mentor as I could. Kevin had been my spiritual navigator, my beacon of light whom I went to when my own Calling had been just a whisper. I wanted to remember every moment, every lesson, every campfire we had sat around, and every hike that we took. All the work Kevin did in the name of God’s calling and all he had poured into my soul began to well up and spill over. “It was never yours to begin with.”

Mike sent us into a time of prayer on the boat as we sailed through the choppy sea. I migrated from the center to the edge of the boat and immediately fell to my knees. In that moment, I knew the Holy Spirit was present. The air around me was heavy with my grief, my joy, my pain, and my fear. It was me falling before my God and Savior on the rolling Sea of Galilee. I wept, I sobbed, and I gasped for air. My body became limp as I gave into the Spirit’s comfort. Words and Scripture formed from the swirling electricity in my head saying,

“I have called you by name, and my work in you is not finished.”
“I am not finished with your pain. I am not finished with your fear. I am not finished with you.”
“Jesus was about 30 when he began his ministry.”
“My child, my child, calm down.”
“ I will teach you how to pour out.”

Tears rolled down my face and for a moment I looked over the Sea of Galilee and felt complete peace. I looked upon the waves and I knew what Peter had feared.  He had been scared that he wasn’t good enough. How could he, a fisherman, be like his Rabbi? How could he be like Jesus and walk on water too?  He was JUST Peter?

I am JUST Theresa, how could I be like Jesus? How could I pour out? How could I be like Kevin? How could I be good enough? I find myself in a season of life where things are unfinished, where my questions are unanswered, and where my grief has the ability to pop up unexpectedly.  In this season The Spirit transcend my expectations. In a time where I desperately wanted to ask Kevin about the Call, God provide answers.

“I will teach you how to pour out what Kevin poured into you.”

I have so much to learn. I am unfinished. I have been called. I will answer. I will pour out what Kevin gave me.

As we climbed off the boat, we all whipped our eyes and hugged one another. We had grown closer to each other. We had shared our souls with one another. The Holy Spirit had transcended our expectations and we became family.